Being a new dad is hard... Like really hard. And maybe I have been ignorant to it, but I feel like it isn't spoken about enough.
I'm 2 weeks in and I thought I would share a few thoughts on my first full day back at work.
- Mums are incredible. Pregnancy would be bloody awful to endure I reckon and then pushing out a whole human and then it being reliant on you. I have no words to describe my admiration for my partner and all the other women out there who just get it done. ❤️
- If you have support, use it. All the time. I naively thought we would glide through without needing people to be fussing over us, but I was wrong. We were so grateful to steal an hour of sleep while someone looked after the baby.
- Be kind to each other. This is like the hardest group project ever and at 3am with a screaming baby it is easy to become snappy but they are the only other person with you in the trenches and if you aren't working as a team, good luck!
- It's okay to feel different emotions about your baby. Whether it be overwhelming love or wanting to throw them out the window (don't actually do this), these are normal. I feel like it is hammered into everyone that as soon as they are born, you must fall in love and live happily ever after. I adore my daughter but I'm just learning who she is as a person and that's a normal process that can take a bit of time.
- Try to soak it in. This is something I am struggling with but trying my best on. It's so easy to want to wish away the next few months so they are a little less crying alien blob and a little more interactive human, but I also want to take a moment when she is sleeping on me and looking angelic because from what I've been told, it won't last long.
- Don't think you are useless as a dad. Whether it be bottle feeds, changing nappies (currently at about 12 a day! 😫 ), doing house work or even bringing your partner a coffee in the morning so she can have a shower. I think it all adds up and has really made me feel like I'm contributing in these early days.
- Burp. Burp again. And again. Buy anti colic bottles. Sit them up. Do an anti wind/gas dance. Whatever you need to do to make sure there is nothing trapped in there because when she is writhing around like a snake for hours on end and just won't sleep, it is hell.
- Buy zippies instead of buttons, a UV steriliser instead of steam, so many terry towelling cloths, and a special nappy bin. The Snoo is currently about a 6.5/10, the Bugaboo Fox is plenty big, Costco have bulk nappies, and I reckon formula has kept her asleep longer.
I can't think of anything else right now but then again, I'm not trying to preach as an all-knowing father. Just a few things that I think a new dad might like to know. If there is anything you can pass on to me, I'd love to know them, or if you'd like to vent as a new dad as well, feel free.
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